moral victory for the queers

As a huge homo I grew up really feeling the pressure to fit within the norm of heterosexuality and the nuclear family model. I was raised by a relatively stay-at-home mom and a bread-winner dad in a semi-suburban neighborhood with good schools and a park. I participated in ballet for God's sake.

When I was 4 or 5 I talked about wanting to grow up to be a man so I could marry a beautiful woman and be a prince charming type character. Keep in mind during this time I was in a Methodist Preschool progam and my misguided gender dysphoric leanings were not welcomed with open arms. I was promptly shut down and thus spent the next 12 years of my life struggling to be heterosexual without knowing why I was having such a hard time. During those 12 years I battled depression and anxiety along with general social awkwardity.

After nearly going to the mat with a substitute teacher over John Kerry's mention of Dick Cheney's lesbian daughter during a debate it dawned on me that maybe I was *gasp* gay!

From that point on my life has been an awkward attempt to catch up with my heterosexual peers. After all, they started exploring their sexualities and relationship dynamics when they were perhaps 13 or 14 and here I was making a u-turn at 17. I immediately threw myself into researching the history of the gay community and ways to connect with other queers as my whole identity was in tumult and I was desperate to find a model to base myself on while I rebuilt my formerly norm-conforming life plans and ideals.

It was during this time that I learned about eHarmony.com, the dating website juggernaut. I was fascinated by the idea of a dating website working so well at connecting people. When I discovered that they did not accept gay members I was sort of baffled by the exclusion.

I have been following the multiple lawsuits filed against eHarmony in California and New Jersey on the grounds of discrimination seeking to force eHarmony to provide the same services to the gay community. As part of the settlement in the New Jersey lawsuit eHarmony has agreed to set up a matching website for gays called "Compatible Partners" to launch sometime in 2009.

It's not much but I view it as one of those chances to say "Ha ha! We win at life!" in the most juvenile way possible.


Go Team, Go!